Country ain't Cowboy

You can drop them in the heart of the wilderness,

and they will find a way to survive and keep their lives.

You can put 'em on a horse or in unknown car,

and they will find a way to go.

You can put them in a room full of strangers,

and they will defend themselves but remind themselves of manners.

They come from the true blue country,

where love is true and everyone has an equal chance.

Their not true gentlemen, their not yankees from the north,

nor Cowboys from the west.

They are country-rebel-born.

Born to fight for what they believe in,

Born to defend themselves and family.

Raised by their mother, taught by their farther.

Raised to be true to one's love and taught all about respect.

They are rare, one-of-a-kind,

ones that keep your heart pounding.

They are the country men, not Cowboys,

that women, of my kind, want and desire.

What I miss

I miss walking in, and you screaming " who is that" when you knew it was me. You pretended to hate my hugs and kisses, when you secretly loved them. I miss spending sunny days with you out in your front yard. You would sit in a old ugly green chair and watch ur fat chuihuah run around, running very fast. I would attempt to climb or atree or get lost in the bushes and you scream "get outta there" Then I would go pick flowers of my way to aplogize, you would chuckle and do a little grin, that simply said you are forgiven and i love you. I miss waking up and having breakfast with you. You ould tease me about anything, and everything i did. But you always did some little thing that reminded me, you were just teasing. i miss watching wrestling with you...I miss you Grandpa Daddy-O..I really do. I wish I could see you, I wish i spent more time with you...I know you blessed me with every sunny day. I love you so much...

A year or so ago...

My last longest relationship was my senior year. Since then I was unable to maintain a relationship for over a month! My longest one was exactly a month! However, two months and a day is my record! He still opens the door for me, he still sends me the sweetest of texts, and I trust him more and more each day. Yea, two months is not very long at all, but it has been the best for me! I can not recall one single bad day, i had more not so good days, but they aren't even that bad. I smile a lot more easily, it comes naturally instead of forced. I laugh more than I have laughed in so many years! I'm proud of who and what I am. I know what my desired dream is and I'm working towards it more and more each day. Two months, really isn't that long, but in just two months, I was able to maintain a relationship with a guy who is completely different from all the rest, he makes me find confidence within myself, and when I don't have faith in me, he does. I really do love my job and the people I work with, they have become friends instead of coworkers. it's not the best of jobs, but its my job and I'm very good at it. Every day, every week, every month, things just keep getting better. It's not all because of the amazing guy I'm able to maintain a wonderful relationship with, I think its because of all the decisions I have made, an dthey all paid off purty damn good!

Over 2 years...

It has been over two years since I posted a blog. I have learned a lot in the past two years...the "great" boyfriend was not so great. I gave him everything I ad and returned it with a black eye and a punch that crushed me. I graduated from bauxite and attending college, its scary and confusing. But I'm proud of where I am. I moved out of the only place I ever known, Ico. I miss it, I miss the sounds at night, the coyotes singing and the whippoorwill that lived in the woods between my old house and my grandmother's house. my grandmother opened up her home to me, my mother and sister. I live in Jasper, work in Jasper, and ride my beloved horse. I'm happy where I am now. life is still rough, but that's just life. I have remained friends with old friends and have met new ones. I'm stronger than what I can ever imagine , I have grown up a lot but also learned to live, ride a little faster, kiss a fish, and never stop dreaming! My mother got married and is happy, my brother and I have grown closer together. These past two years a lot has happened and a lot has changed, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! Hello 2011...bring it on!